Sharing an embarrassing thought

This is pretty embarrassing, and that's exactly why I think I should share it with everyone.

I caught myself thinking today: "It would be cool if we could get that before we went to Europe so we could show it off". Maybe not so much "show it off" as "show it to our friends and family". Anyway, I realized this is not the first time I have though that, since we have booked our flight, and decided to journey through an introspection process asking myself the very essence of questioning; the question of questions: "WHAT THE F*CK???". (I don't usually swear, but every once and a while I do inside my mind - just thought you should know...).

Why the hell am I adopting this ridiculous behaviour, that I so often criticized on other emigrant people? I haven't done it while living anywhere else!

And now for the lame excuse:

I think it's because this time was the "big leap". We've risked much more, and also lost much more, for being so far away. Now it's not as easy to just get on a flight to Portugal, or get up and move back to Europe, and we don't go home as frequently. So we (or maybe just me) have a stronger need to show people we are doing alright. Actually, better than alright, we're loving it, albeit the above mentioned downfalls.

However this is no excuse to start being obnoxious, and showing off stuff. So please do make fun of me to my face if I do that. Please put me in my place. I will try to be alert and not do that. But also keep in mind that this is just my way of showing how happy we are. And that should be a good thing.